If a fourteen year-old can deliver your message, it's not because he's gifted. It's because intellectually, you're a child. - Bill Maher
Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I’ll be damned if Rick Perry didn’t take me up on that. - Bill Maher
To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity. - Bill Maher
Now, don't get me wrong, I think border security is important. And I have no doubt that the Republican plan for turning our southern border into The Hunger Games will put a stop to the #1 threat facing America today — illegal cleaning ladies. - Bill Maher
I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally. - Bill Maher
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them."(The Decider, July 21, 2007) - Bill Maher
I'm not a Christian, but I have read his book. - Bill Maher
The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people. - Bill Maher
Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream? - Bill Maher
The Bible looks like it started out as a game of mad libs. - Bill Maher
You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash. - Bill Maher
Fascism is when corporations become the government. - Bill Maher
Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit! - Bill Maher
Do not fuck with gun nuts because they are nuts about their guns. - Bill Maher
Don't get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance. - Bill Maher
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got? - Bill Maher
I think religion is a neurological disorder. - Bill Maher
Kadafi is a zombie in a pillbox hat, that's what he is! - Bill Maher
This is the opposite of the free market. - Bill Maher
I don't want to say Monsanto is evil right off the bat, but why is Monsanto so evil? - Bill Maher
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. - Bill Maher
I don't ridicule religion, it ridicules itself. - Bill Maher
Jesus is great -- is there a better role model? No. It's religion, it's the people who get in between -- the bureaucracy, you know. ... It's the way people abuse Jesus. Was there ever a greater victim of name dropping? - Bill Maher
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels & free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep & conformists. - Bill Maher
Every day in America is a day with a shooting. - Bill Maher
To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'. - Bill Maher